So with the thoughts of going two for two as a media winner I rolled out of the Venetian Hotel to the Mandalay Bay, the location for the USA Criterium championships. I knew that tonight's race was going to produce stiffer competition. VeloNews had brought several riders with them and their editor Ben Delaney and I had actually been on the same racing team many, many years ago. I knew that he was strong. I just hoped that fatherhood had slowed him down. Specialized also had a few ringers in their company. So the goal of the crit was the same as the cross race: talk a lot of shit then blow up spectacularly. Also not vomit.
I rolled around the infield of the crit as the women battled it out. At one point Johny Sundt came over to me with some prophet advice. "The asphalt is slick, so don't get out of the saddle when you in the turn." Good to know. Earlier that day we had a photo shoot with Freddy Rodriguez and I asked him if he was doing the race. "Hell no!" I pressed him for some advice. "Stay at the front and then camp out." Brilliant!
I knew that I was going to get called up to the line. As a fame whore I loved it. The crowd, the recognition, my fragile ego was being stroked to perfection. The downside to this was that I was at the front and had to at least make a good show of it for a few laps. This was the plan: work the front and then hide in the middle of the pack till I spewed. It was do-able plan.
The whistle blew and I was sprinting off the line like a wolf chased by an airborne Sarah Palin. I leaned my bike into the first turn no more than 75 feet into the race and suddenly my front wheel washed out and I hit the deck, sliding to the fence. In that one second of sliding all I could think about was that the next day was going to suck! I get up and who is standing at the fence is a bunch of my buddies from home. "Way to go Neil!"
"Thanks."
"You putting this on the blog?"
"Yeah, whatever."
My shorts are torn and I'm bleeding from my hip and elbow. My shoulder feels like I was hit by a pole and I have already formed a friction blister on my thumb as it slid on the ground. Other than that I'm good to go.
For a second I thought, "Fuck this, I'm calling it a night and crawling into a bottle of wine." As I remounted and rolled around the course people called my name or yelled "Go ROAD!" What the hell, I'll grab my free lap and reenter the fray.
I roll into the pit and I don't need to explain my situation to the referee. My ass is hanging out and I'm bleeding, you do the math as to what happened. As the peloton comes screaming around the corner I'm pushed into the field. We scream through the finish line and I start to set up for turn number one once again. However the three guys in front of me have other plans. Two of them go down in the exact same spot and the third sympathy crashes into them as well. With no where to go I head into the fence. With tires sliding I come to a halt, jammed up into the orange fencing. And like the gambler Kenny Rogers once said, "You gotta know when to fold them and when to hold them." I was done with this bloodbath. Untangling myself from the fence, I found the nearest pedestrian exit and got off the course.
"Heard you crashed. So who's the douche bag now?" It was my BFF gloating as I limped around the Interbike floor the next day. So I have to take back the douche bag of the month award as it is painfully obvious that I'm the douche. Also Vegas is good for two things only: drinking and gambling. I'm sticking to those next year.
A reporter for the town of St. Joseph called me the other day and asked me for some comments regarding the Tour of Missouri. She had gotten my name from someone at Medalist Sports who thought I might be a big deal and someone worth talking to. This is still a scary thought to me. But I obliged, we chatted for a few minutes and I gave her the low-down on the race. It is evident that the state of Missouri and Medalist are giving this race a big push in the media. And thinking back to last year and the positive response from the spectators and other media outlets I believe that the Tour of Missouri has legs.
One question I sometimes get is why doesn’t ROAD publish letters to the editor? One of the reasons is that we don’t want to suck up the amount of pages that are available to us with someone telling us they liked or disliked something or their opinion about something. That’s what the internet is for. Maybe one day we’ll do it, but at this point we’d rather have a great photo in the magazine.
Awhile ago a cycling magazine changed their format and layout. It was obviously a poor copy of ROAD. Then another magazine changed its format after “reader feedback.” An editor at that magazine told someone we are close with that they were copying ROAD. It was irritating, but we kinda saw that coming for that magazine. Now I’m in Border’s yesterday and I see another magazine screaming on the front page, “Great new features and look!” Also on the cover is an “Exclusive” interview with a rider. I’ll let you in on a secret; “exclusive interview” means that the editor took the time to call the rider/team p.r. person to arrange a time to talk. Or what is often the case is that the p.r. person for that team contacted the magazine and asked if they'd like to interview the rider. That’s it. I’ve seen magazines cobble together “interviews” from press conferences. ROAD will never have, “Exclusive Interview” on the cover. It’s just insulting to readers. Does anyone really think that this rider they had an “exclusive interview” with didn’t want to be interviewed and they had to beg with the guy to get a few minutes of face time? Come on! Anyways, back to my rant. Again due to reader feedback this other magazine is changing their format. The big change is to throw in several black and white photos and call it a “new format.” These magazines are now shooting portrait shots of athletes in casual clothing, which we’ve been doing for years. Today however was the tipping point for my anger. A big bike magazine, who to be perfectly honest I would never even think ROAD would have even show up on their radar, has the nerve to ask us what type of paper we are using and other technical magazine info. She concludes in her email that she’d be happy to share their magazine’s specifications with our production team. Production team!?!? The “production team” is Tim. And why would we tell you what paper we use and why would we want to know the type of paper and specifications you are using?? I have an idea: go to the newsstand, buy an issue of ROAD, get a ruler and measure it. It is now at a point that Tim and I just laugh about it (Okay, Tim laughs at it. I’m a bitter lonely man and I let the anger grow inside me like a tumor). It took two guys just a couple of years to change the formats of several cycling magazines that have been around for many more years than we have.
Of the top 20, 4 guys were from Team Type 1. Seven of the top 20 were Americans, and what an effort Rory Sutherland had finishing fourth on the day. Who knew that guy was such a good climber? The last finisher finished more than 22 minutes down.
Lisa who works for Peloton Sports says she likes us and finds Tim and I entertaining, but given the opportunity will not sit near us. "I really do like you guys." is what she told me.
The Zero Gravity brakes on the Jit Joe's rigs are sexy. The top tube of Hincapie's Giant. The translation: "The Team" Dominguez uses a TT frame and a TT saddle. See the big nose on the front of the seat. The felt bikes are pretty spicy lookin'. Tyler Farrar finished third on stage 3 today. Scott Nydam's BMC. The BMC bike, in my opinion, is the best looking team bike here. Deep-section wheels are commonplace so far. It's a GT, not an Orbea. This is for the dude on the web who thinks it's an Orbea. This is an Orbea. The Orca is a sweet ride that Team Type 1 uses. How about the sexy white stem on Cannondale Super Six that Health Net rides? Neil and Snapper Al try and put back together the power adapter for the GPS.
Gas station bathrooms in small rural towns are apparently where you can also buy various sundries. We passed on the French Tickler, but Tim couldn't resist the standard on-the-road lunch of ice cream and sunflower seeds.
The press room fluctuates between a lot of activity to waiting for something to happen (except Tim who is always busy downloading videos). Last year we caught Sean Weide, one of our favorite p.r. people asleep. Of course we took a photo of that to embarrass him and to post on the web. Now at today's press room we have the same type of rocking chairs. So in memory of Sean falling asleep we have re-captured the moment.
You got to feel a little sorry about the driver for the Marco Polo team. At the start today the peloton was to ride two short easy laps around the downtown area. Naturally the caravan of team cars follow. However the Marco Polo RV somehow got on the course and due to its height couldn't pass under the start line banner. The officials are desperately trying to get the RV to back up before the peloton arrives for its second pass. Didn't happen...
I have a non-scientific method I invented that can predict what your room will be like before you actually drop your head on the pillow. I call it the "Bathroom Door Condition Method" or BDCM. Here's how it works: Get inside you room and quickly go into the bathroom and shut the door. Sit on the toilet seat and look at the inside of your bathroom door.
Sean asleep-2007
